In Memory of Alyssa Sialaris
I saw your name
and it tickled my brain
so I looked you up in the student dictionary
to see you were the one.
One of the few to look me in the eye and say my name.
I found I had memories of the way you run after big dogs in high school parking lots.
Long legs covered in denim,
Soft winter beanie on long curly brown hair
Your hooded eyes looking at me
From the back of a pickup truck
Talking despite my silence
Always trying even when I didn’t know how
To respond to your kindness
Except for a smile
A feeling of awkward peace.
It was then that I realized I missed you.
It was then I realized death would never let me rekindle an acquaintance
To see if it could be friendship
That my choice of school meant I’d never see you again
The loss to the world
The typical thought of how no one would see you in a wedding dress
I’m sorry,
This is how my society taught me to be
Thinking of your unlived future with a shot of whiskey
But you,
You’re one of the few that ever seemed to believe there was something in me.
So, I’ll brew a cup of tea
Reflect on a sweet memory
Of a parking lot at sunset
And long denim clad legs
Running free.
Bleed It Out 